Parody
by Mitts
Summary: A Christmas one off special for Stephy and all my lovely readers and reviewers to enjoy. Totally out of character actors, and very tongue-in-cheek. Just a bit of fun to raise a laugh or two, hopefully.


Parody

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.....And especially to my beloved guinea pig reader Stephy, for whom this story was written and gifted.

MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY~o~MCHNY

Soft moonlight streamed in through the open bedroom window, dimly illuminating the bare skin of the two naked men writhing between the sheets on the bed. The lusty sounds of panting and gasping, grunting and groaning, filled the room.

"Don't.....Oh great Gaia...."

Silver eyebrows arched as a firm toned body paused, hovering just above the smaller one pinned below, the dominant mans hard expectant member poised and ready for penetration.

"Don't, Cloud? You can't mean that? I know you want this. I can feel your need, pressing against me. You want me inside you, plundering you. You want me to thrust in you, deep in you, in.... and out. You want me to fill you, to satisfy you, to take away that empty ache inside of you, and leave you smiling and happy. Content. And filled with my seed."

"Ohhhhh....please...please....."

"Please? Please what, Pet?"

Sephiroth broke from his narrative and looked up, peering intensely and seriously at the small, almost unseen camera lens that was focused upon him. Using one hand to balance himself on the bed he swept his long silver hair back from his face with the other and he spoke again, his voice somber and stern.

"Pets are for life, not just for Christmas. I hope you all remember that...."

For a moment there was a stunned silence, then....

"CUT!"

Suddenly the 'room' was a hive of activity. Powerful overhead lamps were switched on, illuminating the whole area and wiping out any pretence of false moonlight. Makeup artists rushed forward to touch up Sephiroth's flawless face, patting and tapping at his chiseled features with fresh powder until he brushed them away with a bored flick of his wrist.

And Cloud pushed himself off the bed, cussing and cursing as a stagehand hastily wrapped a robe around his naked slender form.

"What the _fuck _is your problem, you jerk?" the blond boy cast scornfully in Sephiroth's direction, dramatically tying a knot in the belt around his gown, making it look for all the world as if he were wishing it was a knot in a noose around the silver haired mans neck he was tying. "You just had to steal the scene, didn't you? You _knew_ all eyes would be upon me....at the way I was gyrating beneath you. You are such a low class actor," he hissed.

"Eh? What? What did I do?" Sephiroth asked, in genuine puzzlement. "Hey....." he called out after Cloud's stomping retreating figure. "Hey, it was an important message that I felt had to be delivered, I'll have you know!"

"Well...be a messenger boy in your own time, Seph, not mine," growled the movie director, spitting his half smoked cigarette to the floor and grinding it out roughly with the heel of his boot. "That's precious time and money you've just wasted there. All comes out of your pay check, son. Don't think for one fucking minute that I'm picking up the tab for you to get all educational. You wanna start preaching, you go get yourself a pulpit, or a soap box."

"I dunno, Cid," chipped in a heavily muscled dark skinned man, who was pushing a sweeping brush around the area, cleaning up any tell tale mess the make up artist might have left on the floor. "I mean, he's got a point ya know. People should be....."

"Barrett....."

"Yeah Cid?"

"Chow bar's open."

"I'm there....."

Sephiroth slapped his forehead in his hand, bemoaning that his would-be champion had given up his stance, and his broom, for some free burgers and fries.

"And _another _thing...." said Cloud, marching back briskly, coming to a stop in front of the berated actor and striking a pose, a slender hand coming to rest on an out-thrust hipbone, his little nose thrown upwards towards the ceiling, giving the impression that he was talking down to the seated actor in more ways than one. "Those groans I was making when you touched me.....fake. The way I was humping against you like there was no tomorrow.... all pretend. You couldn't turn a radio on without someone there to show you which knob to press."

"Ahuh...and I suppose the way you were whispering to me, low enough so the mics couldn't pick you up, was acting too?" asked Sephiroth, his cool green eyes piercing into sardonic blue ones. "_Ohhhh Seph, you really do it for me_," he began, his tone mocking, mimicking that of the younger boy. "_Of all the others I've made porno's with, your cock is the one that I really look forward to having shoved up inside my ass. It's so big...Ohhhhh do me, now. Harder. Deeper._..."

As Sephiroth had been talking, sending up the feisty blond actor, he hadn't noticed the changing expressions on the pretty face of Cloud. First there had been a shocked look and a sharp intake of breath ready to expel a heated denial. Then had come embarrassment that his secret words were being repeated out loud. And finally had come blazing anger and a sense of betrayal. Which all led to.....Retaliation!

"Ha! You think I meant those words I said to you, moron? I _have _to say those things, to help you get your limp dick up. I mean, obviously the _pills_ I happen to know you take don't seem to be helping you maintain a stiffy. You're a floppsie droppsie. Owner of a drooping, sagging, wilted sausage. With that sad thing between your legs, you couldn't manage to poke a hole in jelly. Even Jack Horner's plum was firmer than that....and that was _after _it had been cooked!"

The irate little blond paused dramatically to take a breath and toss his head back, flicking his hair away from his face and stealing a glance under lowered lashes to make sure all eyes were on him before firing off his punch line in a hushed, biting tone.

"Your love making leaves me cold."

"That's not what you said last night," retorted Sephiroth, his voice deadpan and serious. "In fact, as I recall, you were laying back in bed gasping for air because you couldn't talk where I'd shagged you so hard. And...." he continued, looking around the room at the bemused gawking onlookers, "those pills he referred to just now....they're simply vitamins, _and he very well knows it!"_

A few snickers of laughter tittered around the room, and more than a few eyebrows were raised if to say, 'Oh yeah?'

"They've been having sex outside the studio?" someone mused loudly.

"Well they sure as hell haven't been having sex _inside_ the fucking studio, that's for sure....which is what I'm paying them to goddamn do!" stormed Cid.

"Fucking...Studio. Nice one, Cid. Good choice of words," a red haired clapper boy snickered. "Where do you make porno's? Why, a 'fucking' studio, of course."

The would be comic received a clout around the ear as a reward for his glib comment.

"_You_, "Cid growled at the hapless recipient of his smack, "get on with whatever it is you're paid to do. And you two," he snapped, now addressing the little blond and the silver haired man, "you two get the fuck back on that bed and do _who_ you're paid to do. Let's get this show over with. I want to go home sometime tonight, if you please."

"Vinnie waiting for you, Cid?" the bald headed cameraman leered.

"Yeah, my cute little darling will be all primed and ready for me to plough. He'll just be waiting for me to get in through the back door."

The smacked down wannabe comedian opened his mouth to make a retort about Cid's wording again, but thought better of it and instead kept his chortle to himself as he assisted the slim blond actor out of his robe and helped Cloud to retake his position on the bed, ready to pick up the filming from where it had been cut.

Once the director was happy that the correct positions had been restored he ordered everyone off the set that didn't need to be there, and then gave the call to continue the shoot.

"Lights...Camera....ACTION!"

Soft moonlight streamed in through the open bedroom window, dimly illuminating the bare skin of the two naked men writhing between the sheets on the bed. Clouds slight frame was almost swallowed up by the larger one that lay atop him, his tiny form sinking into the mattress as Sephiroth ground his hips up against the boys groin.

The only sound in the room was from the two men's lips, as they wetly and hungrily kissed each other, their jaws working up and down in unison, their salivating tongues darting into each others mouths.

Small limbs entangled around longer limbs, arms and legs knotting and twisting until Sephiroth took control and pushed Clouds knees apart, sliding himself into the welcoming gap between the blondes thighs and positioning himself at the boys entrance.

With a mighty thrust of his hips, the silver haired man buried himself deep within Cloud's ass in one push, slipping his hands beneath his lover's body and holding him tightly in place as the blonde's spine arched up off the bed at the pleasurable pain of penetration.

No longer aware, or caring, of the camera that was focused upon them, the two men lost themselves in their passionate lovemaking. The room was reverberating with the lustful moans and cries that they made, the thudding of Sephiroth's ball sac smacking and slapping against Cloud's flesh and the delicious sound of the silver haired man's wet leaking cock plunging in and out of the tiny, tight clenching hole.

Cloud's delicate hands were gripping Sephiroth's forearms, his fingernails digging in, causing small half moon indentations. His blond spiky haired head was thrown back into the pillows, and his pretty eyes were closed. His breathing was raspy and ragged, and his sweaty chest rose and fell rapidly as he called Sephiroth's name over and over again.

Sephiroth sped up his thrusting motion, his pale ass pushing forwards and back in a fast pistoning action. His feet applied further leverage on the silky sheet covered mattress and his lean strong thighs helped to propel him with the pumping strokes that saw him embedded time and time again within the warm pliant body of the young blond bucking beneath him.

With a guttural growl and a final surge forward, Sephiroth stilled deep within the boy, and let his cock explode within the encasing hot inner depths, pulsing and throbbing, depositing his essence high up in the bowels of the smaller male. He felt his stomach become wet and warm, as the tiny blond screamed out his own orgasm.

Leaning low over Cloud, Sephiroth nibbled on a delectable earlobe as he slowly withdrew his softening cock from the blonde's ass. "So, your place later tonight?" he whispered.

"Ohhh yeah," replied Cloud dreamily, as the spunk from Sephiroth's ejaculation leaked from him and trickled down to soil the bedding.

"I'll wear my Santa suit," Sephiroth purred into his secret lover's ear.

"You'll wear your _birthday _suit," Cloud whispered back, even as Cid yelled, "That's a wrap," and the moon bathed bedroom once again became nothing more than a studio set.

Pushing the big man off his small form, Cloud swung his legs over the bed and walked slightly unsteadily towards the showers, the red head trying to wrap a robe around him as he sauntered off.

Sephiroth lay back on the mattress for a brief moment with his eyes closed, a happy smirk on his contented face.

"You did a great job there, Seph," Cid commented. "I reckon this sweet little video will shoot straight to the Christmas number one slot. I might just take a copy home tonight to show to my hunny."

The silver haired man half opened his eyes.

"Anytime, Cid," he replied, nonchalantly. "It was my pleasure." He grinned again, as he thought of how indeed it had been all his pleasure, and grinned even wider when he thought of how he would be getting some more of that same pleasure again in a few hours time.

Once the room was quiet, and the stage derelict, Yuffie crept onto the now empty and deserted set and snatched the stained and still wet bottom sheet from the bed where Cloud and Sephiroth had lain. Holding it tightly to her chest, clutched protectively in her arms, she sneaked back out as craftily as she had come in.

"Make myself a few bucks on Ebay," she chuckled.


End file.
